Why Developing Healthy Boundaries WILL Change Your LIFE Forever | Narcissistic People



don't let anybody leave your presence and then put their monkey on your back do people put their monkeys on your back this is about healthy boundaries and this is something that's taken me years to learn and I believe that if you have holes in your personal boundaries you will suffer and you won't know why to the point of where hold your entire life back and you can be mentally sick emotionally sick and even develop pathology is the neurosis and mental illness and you might not understand why and there's something Shh stop it so don't let other people leave your presence or get off the phone with you or leave your office or your sight and then put if their victim minded people then put their monkeys on your back because that's what they're trying to do whether they're aware of it or not people that when they're in the victim state of psychology some people have to vent they build up like a tea kettle and they have to discharge that energy on to you to get it out of them and they're not aware they're not aware that they're selfishly narcissistically discharging their energy onto you so it's like a ball of chaos inside of them and they're discharging it into you in order for them to get their relaxation it builds up inside of them and they can't relax until they discharge that negativity on to pour into into somebody else so it's a monkey that's on their back and they want to take that monkey off there that's their monkey give me yet give me yet I don't I thought yeah I told ya get my jet ready to squeaking I know it's a squeaky squeaky so imagine if you had like a hot coal or hot potato and it's burning so you go up to people and you're like please take this take this from me take this and then and then they take it from you or you guilt trip them into taking it from you and you're complaining and crying about your hot potato in your hand and you get it out of your hand you put it in their hand and now they're screaming and burning with the hot potato and you go oh god that was your hot potato let me do that again here did you take the hot potato take it what do you mean you're not gonna hate to take this hot to leave me and they'll still find like egoic ways to try to make you take the hot potato right and then as soon as you take the hot potato and you like you just you know they're trying to force it into your hand right and if you don't take it then they'll come from around the back and then do all these different things and then they'll be really really nice to you and they'll hide the hot potato grain and then as soon as you go oh they're boom they'll slip the hot potato into your hand and then they'll run away and they go here take the hot potato as soon as they get rid of they go that was hot so GERD to get rid of that hot potato and now you're stuck burning and suffering with their hot potato they're taking their monkey off their back one so anyways they were in an amazing book it's a business book lately called traction it was recommended to my buddy by my buddy DJ Carol they're talking about in business people will come in your office and they'll try to put their monkey on your back do not let them walk out of your office door with their monkeys still in your office because now it becomes your problem people's problems are their problems and when you stop taking everybody else's problems problems on or feeling guilty or responsible for their problems that they're trying to make you responsible for and I'm talking about even people your friends your family especially your people you love what happens is you go through these like three stages of grief or whatever the stages of grief and you'll feel guilty you'll feel remorse you can be addicted to it but once you can fully identify that that's their stuff and that doesn't mean you love them any less you still love them you can still have a conversation with them you could still have a loving conversation you can laugh you could talk and everything but when you get off that phone or when they get out of your presence you're not taking their hot potato you're not taking their monkey you're not taking responsibility for their problem that they created and it takes a while to get this because you feel like you're gonna die until the healthy boundary is installed you might feel like you're abandoning them you might have like a fear of unloved or a fear of abandonment childhood issues things that go back like your fear afraid that if you make them feel rejected where you don't do that and then they have that same reciprocal codependent issue going on that they might manipulate you to get their ego a kit so this is what I'm going with this is why there's actually he would you recall on these that they're sitting on for this one seems to be fine though but um so like the neuropeptides in your brain then I'm achy on the neuro peptides in your brain they become a like like to the chemicals of this push-pull mean sweet narcissistic cycle and the arguments and the fights and the these feelings become addictive right so but when you can become fully aware of it for what it is and it'll be like a detox phase and then you can fully install the boundary and that person who does that to you they call you up every day just to complain about their life they're calling you for nothing more than to complain and cry in and moan about their problems and try to dump them all on you not that they even want any advice or any help they just have to discharge all that negative energy out into somebody so they're selfishly doing it to you and the person who takes it the most from the most people is you absorb all that from all these people now you got all their weight on your shoulders all their monkeys on your back and now you have a breakdown and misery loves company so here you know now imagine you're on the phone with that person but you don't let them put their monkey in your back so perfectly healthy conversation and you'll feel them getting upset with you because that you're not letting them you got a boundary you don't even have to be mean you could just be very nice and calming you know yeah but every time they try to put that monkey on your back they keep trying to do it verbally or with their energy you just you and even it doesn't even take any energy like you're not fighting to block it anymore your neck is not even because if you do that if they feel their resistance if they feel you're putting up a defense field a defensive field then they'll become offensive and those start a fight with you that's what happens in in the next stage when you realize it and you wake up to this then it'll those start fights with you if they can't get what they want and now it'll get your heart racing and then once they start a fight with you you're your healthy boundary the hole in your personal boundary is open and then they'll slip the hot potato in there they'll force it in by starting a fight with you and making your your your guard goes down and they'll slip it in and now this is somebody who supposedly loves you that's doing this to you and when you grow up with this crap and you grow up with people like this who do this to you that supposedly love you you start to realize how insane people and you might not even be aware that you might be the negative person that's doing this to other people so it's really hard to realize that – so here here's one like the buck stops with you if you're experiencing a negative emotion or going through something and then you're calling up people just a whine and complain to them be very very aware that Evo you because you can confide in them be careful of how you do it because you might be just discharging negative energy into them and leaving them with your monkey on their back you're trying to get the monkey off their back your back right I've done this to people a lot in the past I have a friend or two they always pick up the phone when they call what I call they talked to me in a very comforting way they listened to me and I learned one thing though whenever you gives any negativity this dog is constant 24/7 365 ok I taught you all the beddings being washed right now just chilling so so it looks like you got like zippy lips and think before you pick up a thorn and do this to people so you don't let them do it to you and every time they try to insert it you don't block it you just let it go past it doesn't even do anything because if you're detached the monkey can't go onto your back since it's obviously not your problem and you don't feel bad about it either and then from there there's a compass that points true north you could begin to distinguish when it's happening and when it's not or when they're trying to do it when their turn is not right and then and then from that point they can get all this upset as they want because they're really upset with themselves they're upset with their own decisions their own lack of decision of their own lack of responsibility and the saying that I love is your lack of planning is not my emergency your lack of planning is not my emergency your lack of not having whatever it is of working towards having it together you've had all this time and now you're gonna go put all your monkeys on my back and I have to deal with your emergency it's like the boy who cried wolf for it's like you know the guy who there's a flood in the town and he was praying God please help me and then the flood took his house and people came by with loaves and he wouldn't get in the boats and he stayed in his house and then the flood got higher and now he's up on his roof God please help me and then helicopters came and he's like no no no no no and then the flood guy he's on the tip of the roof looks like god please help me and then like one that lasts emergency boat came by he's like no I don't what I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm on my house and then the flood took his whole house and then he drowned to death and he went to heaven he's like why did you let me die God he's like I have a secret YouTube channel just for these dogs and then he's like why did you let me die God he's like every time you called out to me I sent you boats I sent you helicopters but you wouldn't listen what I mean is there's many many many warnings that happen to you in life that there's a lot of grace and a lot of mercy that says you better get your act together you alone now the wrong path you know most of the time you don't just get blindsided by some horrible things sometimes it does happen for people and my heart goes out to people like that it has happened to me in my life I've been blindsided by some really really bad stuff that took me years and years to fight to get out of it and I think my lucky stars every day you know and I think that you should too and so that means if you do have a life what I mean is you're not special you're not special in the moment you realize you're not special and that you know everybody has to work their butt off every single day everybody has a million things going on in a ton of priorities everybody has a little bit of mental or emotional illness everybody has some type of habit or addiction or bad habits or things that they struggle and suffer from whether it be something as simple as they they can't sleep and they're up all night in there or they're they're prone to depression or alcohol or drugs I don't know everybody's got their their cross to bear and Oprah Winfrey said the moment you stop wishing things were different anymore that's when your life gets better is when you when you become present with your life become present with your pain you become present with the monkeys that are in your back and you realize they're your monkeys and then you accept them fully you know even if it's something that you can't change like god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change to accept the things I cannot change to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference it's a beautiful thing because now if you've got a problem that you can learn how to cope and live with that thing and stop trying to hide or run away from it or or do things to compensate for that problem you can you can get help you can get therapy or you can meditate or you can deal with that struggle you have yourself and then develop a deep sense of peace within yourself and then you can actually have a beautiful life when you get back into your mind-body connection and you get you know aligned with the spiritual truth and you can become present with your life and but first it's hard you have to face the brutal reality of where you're at and you can like Eckhart Tolle says be dragged into the Kingdom of Heaven kicking and screaming you know how long will you fight do you need more time more time as what you will get there is an endless abyss of time so you can go on for I don't know if you believe in reincarnation or not but multiple lifetimes of suffering until you get with the program and stop fighting and I think that see it causes tension even talking about there right there you could be misaligned just slightly out of alignment just just a little bit off alignment spiritually and it causes all this friction like a Fibonacci sequence like there's a wobble and a disk and the more it faster goes the more it wobbles and starts breaking apart well that's the parts of you that are breaking apart the monkees on your back so when you try to grow I think you have to first accept and embrace those monkeys or this habit those things you know your problems before you can transcend them right because you have transformation and then you have transcendence and so you have a spiritual you know the social you have the universal and you have the genetic and you have the physical all these different layers of truth so if you if you go through evolution on the different lines level States and stages of truth and consciousness little by little this thing will start to come together and then you can evolve you know and then yeah I mean you might have a leap where you'll evolve you'll arc and you'll crest and you'll evolve and then now you go through suffering again because now you're going to the next breakthrough break down break through break down break through so I think that uh there's it a beautiful Zen saying this video is a long video Dixit fin I hope I don't get the algorithm that's the guys name I hope it doesn't pick it up as a bad word said uh was telling a Zen story I'll tell that story in another video I'm wrapping up this video my friend go let people put their monkeys on your back and I think that when you you just start to develop that boundary alone where you can hear no and say no with no residue you can hear no and you could say no with no residue that's when you'll start to develop more peace in your life there's someone else on YouTube that I looked up a little bit his name is Leo from actualised org this guy's got like a million subscribers now you do with the bald head he is amazing he's got some long videos but if you sit there and you watch him I don't have a lot of time to watch him but once in a while I watching you guys just brilliant there's a lot of levels of life that can be very very beautiful where you have a beautiful life and you feel very happy and present with what is a lot of your fear will drop in dissolve how that and would you like that if a lot of your fear just dissolved because you got present with your life that those lower astral energy in that you know that can a lot of that can go away you know do you live in a friendly or a hostile universe and Einstein because you will build the case to attract or or you'll build a case to make that reality true because you're consciously you're projecting through this you know holographic reality through your consciousness and your living experiencing what's going on in your consciousness depending on where you're at spiritually all right later my friend

10 Comments

  1. I just learned about setting boundaries this past winter. It changed my life completely. Thank you man

  2. They are discharging into you?

  3. I think you are amazing Brother!! We are nothing but dust Bro made from the earth. When we are weak that is when God is strong in us, in short we can do ALL things through Christ who strenghtens us. There is none greater power than Jesus, not now not ever. Jesus has never let me down Bro, not once in all the times I called on him for help. Keep your eyes on Jesus Bro, he is the way , truth and Life. I write in Love Brother!!! I thank you for being generous and loving enough to help others through their struggles in life, specially in the beginning stages when it's bitter struggle, may God richly bless you and your family Bro in Jesus' mighty name!!!

  4. Great message!!!! Oh yeah and you got some good aim too

  5. Leo's channel is one of my regulars. Videos from him and yourself are my therapy.

  6. Great message 👍

  7. wow! this has been a current issue for me brother Keith. I'm also dealing with the argument in mind on how to deal with it correctly in the foundation of being a leader. just say Moses dealing with all the Israelites throwing all their monkeys at him simultaneously. ahh.. it's just hard to decipher at times. anyway, thank you brother. somehow just listening you talk about it is comforting

  8. all that talk about slipping potatoes in someone got me turned-on lmao…jk

  9. dropping knowledge! you must be left-handed bc you nailed both of those throws. LOL

  10. That hot potato analogy was good. You are not special. You are the same dying decaying part of the earth. His name was Robert Paulson.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *