Three ways to improve Wellbeing | Hala Khouri

my name is Hala Khouri I’m one of the
founders of off Mat, Into the world. In addition to being a yoga teacher I’m a
somatic counselor and I’m a mother of two and that has definitely been
informing for me what well-being is for a lot of my life I thought well-being
was about eating right and exercise and taking vitamins and and it is about all
those things and I do all those things at this stage of my life though I’m I’m
thinking about it a little bit differently and I’m realizing that
well-being is really about relationships as a trauma therapist what I see with my
clients and those grappling with the most trauma is that the biggest thing
they lack is community and the biggest thing they struggle with is isolation
and we can do all the self-care practices in the world but if they don’t
include connection and community they kind of become like band-aids so some of
the things I’ve been working on number one is reaching out to people for help
it can be as simple as asking my neighbors if I can go borrow olive oil
from them rather than driving to the store that day or calling a friend if
I’m feeling upset sometimes even though there’s ten other ways I could get my
need mat I’ve been asking myself how can I meet this need within the context of
community and what I’ve learned is that when I ask people for that support it
lights them up they’re excited to have something to share with me and I know it
lights me up when people call and ask me for support and my close friends want to
lean on me it makes me feel it makes me feel useful in a way and it makes me
feel connected I know that I got into the habit of only seeing friends when we
were having meals together and again that’s really beautiful but I know that
the friendships that I’ve cultivated that are really the deepest are the ones
where we reach out to each other when we need each other
if I’m feeling sad or upset or stressed I
I will go to meditate or I’ll go to exercise and those are all really good
self-care practices but what I really need to do is call a friend and talk
about it but I try to do all the other things first and sometimes all I need is
action the second thing I’m trying to do is buy less stuff I think that a lot of
us are conditioned to think that if we buy something we’re gonna feel good and
I know there’s often your late nights I’m a little lonely or bored and I let’s
get on and maybe I’ll just buy it
score it or something and it makes me feel good in the moment but it’s not
what I really want and even though that’s not a habit I have that’s too bad
I still do it whether I’m just going to get extra groceries for the family I’m
still having this illusion that if I have certain things in my life I’m gonna
feel better another thing that I’ve been working on is really feeling into my own
being what it means to value who I’m being rather than what I’m doing and I
get to do a lot of great stuff in my life I feel so lucky that my work is
really my hearts work and even with that I have to be careful not to identify
what I’m doing with Who I am and you know my husband said this to me
lately he’s like I don’t need you to do more I just want you to be more present
and at first I was very defensive I am really present and everything I’m doing
is about presence but it’s about slowing down and the only way the world is gonna
change is if we recognize our interdependence
so I challenge you to make a commitment to think about what’s one or two things
that you can do that shows that you’re gonna value a relationship over everything.

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