The Skinny Bitch Diet Menu (Hot Date)

(CollegeHumor theme) (electric buzzing) – It’s like, I want to
order the Double Loaded Gut-Bomb Chili Cheese Fry Nachos, but– – We have a pool party
to go to after this. – I guess we could always order from the diet menu. (horror music) (up-tempo music) – Beyoncé doesn’t say that. – “If he liked it, he
should have put a platter “of grilled onion rings on it?” This is degrading. – A “Glamburger on a Tight
Bun” with a side of thighs? Jesus! – How are you supposed to
say any of this out loud to another human being? – Hey, gang! Are we ready? – Yes, I will have the… Chicken Slenders. – I’m sorry? – The chicken. – Ah, the Chicken Parm
or the Chicken Francese? – Uh, the, diet menu chicken. – Which one? – This one. – I’m sorry, don’t have my glasses. – Oh, okay, of course you don’t. The… Saucy Bossy Chicken Slenders. – On a Blamwich or as a Flauntrée? – A Flauntrée. – It doesn’t sound like you want it. – Excuse me? – If you want a Flauntrée, you have to flaunt it. – (sigh) I am the boss bitch and I demand
my Slenders as a Flauntrée, with the Fit Into My Little
Black Dress-ing on the side, sorry, not sorry! Is that good enough? – For you?
– I’ll just have a burger. – What? No! Did you hear what just
came out of my mouth? No, no, be a man and
order from the Bitch Menu! – Okay, um… I will have the Glamburger then. – What kind of cheese? – It would be the… Man, I Feel Like a… Wo-manchego… please?
– What was that? – Man, I Feel Like a Wo-manchego. – Oh… Sing it for me. – What?
– Sing it for me, you little slut. ♫ Man, I Feel Like a Wo-man… chego – Yeah, now tell me
how you want it cooked. – I don’t want to. – You have to tell me. I have to tell the chef. – Medium Fierce. – What kind of bun? – Holla Bread. – What kind of bun?! – I want it on Holla Bread, girrrrl! – (crying) – Good boy. Do you know why you’re crying? ’cause you’re a fat boy, not a fit boy. You wanna be a fit boy, don’t ya? Say it to me. – I’m a fat boy and I
wanna be a fit boy, sir. – [Waiter] Shake your fat boy tits for me. – Don’t do it.
– Shut up. Yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. I’ll get you guys some water! – What’s up, the world? From award-holders Murph and Emily comes a new web series called Hot Date. – That’s right, it’s gonna
be coming to you weekly, and if we play our cards right, maybe we’ll actually win one of these. – Yes, these are other people’s– – These are other people’s.
– But… We’re holding them, so, who’s the real winner?


  1. Really, why does this pair so afraid of fking waiters? They are the least intimidating people of all the people. You paid them do serve you, not to order the living sh!t outta you.

  2. Grant is an asshole. 0/5 stars in yelp

  3. EPIC. 不不不不不不不

  4. When did Grant become this hot ?!

  5. I'm oddly turned on

  6. This feels like harassment.

  7. If you want a flauntr矇, you've got to FLAUNT it.

  8. 0:37
    A glamburger?



  10. I need Grant to release an audio book using his Daddy voice

  11. The server whispering… Say it…

  12. That was so funny! Best laugh all day.

  13. The only issue with the waiters service…..

    …..They already had water

  14. Grant would be a great psycho in a horror movie

  15. Grant is an amazing actor.

  16. Damn! Grant is an amazing actor. I want more of these episodes.

  17. Im slightly aroused by grant


  19. 3:09 They already have water

  20. I really wish waiters were like this

  21. 1:26 "is this bitch serious!?"

  22. Why did I get turned on?嚙嚙

  23. This got really fucked up really fast

  24. The title for the video should've been "when your waiter completely emasculates you" lol

  25. 2:15 this took a sharp turn into kinky territory!!

  26. Not my proudest fap
    But certainly my best

  27. Emily can't hold it in at 2:27 LMAO!

  28. It DoEsNt SoUnD liKe YoU WaNt It

  29. Why am I turned on?!?!?!

  30. I like physcopath Murph better

  31. i want grant asmr pls and thx

  32. Dude this got weird.

  33. In real life that kind of stuff might be fun

  34. fit boy

  35. This was amazing haha

  36. 1:49 Murph had to go through that all because of Emily lol

  37. Shake your fat boy's tits for me is one of the most disturbing+hilarious thing I've heard on YouTube for sure

  38. Oh my god

  39. Why do I feel like hes being mugged?

  40. 1:17

  41. Wow that was intense! I love grant!

  42. I didn't realize this was grant?

  43. Am I the ONLY one not turned on by this?

  44. grant would be so good at bdsm

  45. What a whirlwind psychosexual melodrama

  46. Grant sounds really hot in this

  47. Well that's kinky

  48. k i n k y

  49. Grants performance is amazing

  50. I don't wanna be a fat boy, I want to be a fit boy

  51. i love these characters grant plays

  52. I bet that waiter gets minus tips from customers that takes skinny b*tch diet.

  53. The fact that Grant had to be this intense like wow.

  54. This is their, fault they need to stop going to this restaurant.

  55. I'm actually afraid of the waiter

  56. That was amazing. Untold depths to this Grant fella.

  57. bold moves

  58. I'm getting strong No Country for Old Men vibes from this

  59. This made me cringe so incredibly hard. And I love it.

  60. This was way too intense for me


  62. Just say your order normally and add sister, honey, or sweetie and itll probably work

  63. I aspire to be this menacing to my customers.

  64. waiter grant is the hot dom we all deserve

  65. The embodiment of pro-ana

  66. Thankfully I live in China so I dont have to say anything I just point to it

  67. Grant without his glasses makes me uncomfortable.

  68. After watching Jake & Amir videos, Murph totally deserves this.

  69. no one:
    absolutely nobody:
    waiter grant: bitch
    my dick: 0w0~

  70. THATS HO T

  71. Wait….why are they going to a pool party at night.

  72. 2:28 she slipped a little smile hahah

  73. Daddy.


  75. Hold on, how does he see and write if he doesn't have his glasses??

  76. Now that's kinky

  77. This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while不

  78. Omg Grant can talk to me that way any time

  79. This was the best fucking Video

  80. Is it bad that I think grant is hot?

  81. Great Grant now I'm afraid and disturbed.

  82. Be a man and order off the bitch menu lol

  83. I think it's hilarious how they just deal with this weird sadistic waiter but it also would have been hilarious if they called out the management about being degraded trying to order off the diet menu and the manager asked what exacty they ordered
    Like the cable company bit in South Park.

  84. I LOVE evil Garret. Or Grant. Wahtever. A favorite.

  85. Back when CollegeHumor was good! 2019 kinda sucks.

  86. That….

  87. Sadistic Grant is best Grant.

  88. 2019?

  89. I felt Second Hand Shivers from that

  90. Be a man and order from the bitch menu

  91. Grant is owning this

  92. Why… is grant hot in this??? I think this awakened something in me

  93. Gooood, Grant merry me! <3

  94. So messed up

  95. 0:45 yay! Grant

  96. Be a man and order in the BITCH menu!

  97. Food: the language of the mouth. Gods of Food, available now on DROPOUT!

    Don't live in CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here:

  98. Grant in this kinda turned me on

  99. I've never seen something more hilarious

  100. Grant is to Murph in this video what Murph was to Jake in Trust Fall 2

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