Physical Fitness and Men's Mental Health

good afternoon everybody this is Brett Zachman zach founder of beam-in and you know what time it is it is Facebook live time on Friday at Danni studio and hey we just came off the man map like we are your underwear on fire yes they are I didn't even wear underwear no I'm kidding everybody calm down ladies too much with us I know TMI and a Friday Hey no honestly sincerely we had a great time we want to thank Jason Hopkins and Nami we want to thank mines spring we want to thank E body guard we want to thank let's talk Colorado we had an incredible time last night we had about 50 or 60 people in attendance and we did a deep dive on the man map right how to provide survive and thrive we've got very real and you know here in the state of Colorado especially we have just gone through a round of some pretty disturbing things once again right we had some more seemingly senseless student violence so what we're doing here on Fridays is we're breaking it down and each week we're trying to bring you a conversation with a key member of our advisory council as we build up to our June 29th event for the five pillars of male wellness and after that we're going to branch out even deeper into our community and we're gonna have men and women coming in here to discuss topics of import with us as men tend to do well we drink some beer we hang out we watch a game we go about an inch deep and a mile wide well that's not what we're trying to do here in this community Kirk M San Mills will say we're going an inch wide and a mile deep so today I'm with one of my favorite guys in the whole wide world Kirk say hi hey Kirk all right Kirk spread the word so Jeff Scott Ruiz so we're gonna talk about physical fitness today right all right let's do it so let's dive right into it so all right the big first question I mean this physical fitness is it even important for men why does it matter yeah I think it is important for men it matters because men are just physical strength kind of guys you know we we like to to act tough we like to do things and lift things and push things and and go fast and all kinds of fun stuff like that so yeah I think it's very important that it defines the the man yeah absolutely and I know you have kids I do use a little groan further than mine right they are but I can remember my boys I mean there was like WrestleMania like even when they were a little low like they were still in like kind of big boy diapers you know and they're like two and four and we're doing WrestleMania on the floor and stuff and nobody taught them that it wasn't like they went to a wrestling class right so the physicality starts early doesn't it it does it's instinctive from from Tyler's they just want to plow into stuff and roll around and get dirty and just all kinds of things very tactile yeah now how was your son now he's thirty thirty did he ever kind of test the limits with Darrell dad did he few few bumps and bruises and just kind of you know arm wrestle definitely arm wrestle and pushing around a few times yeah that was cool yeah awesome that's that's the way it kind of works so I know you did a stint in the military yes now we talk about military a lot in America I didn't have the stones going so I was kind of thinking about your military experience and physical fitness did physical fitness play a part in any of your decision-making to get into the military it did a little bit because I was always a scrawny little kid I was okay I was really skinny I was thin and it kind of gave me a little incentive to go in there and bulk up a little bit and as a matter of fact after the basic training and all that good stuff I actually gained about 20 pounds after eating in and I felt I felt I was pretty solid by that time you got your Thor on yeah that's awesome now how old were you when you went in 1818 okay and so you're kind of scrawny up to that point and then very okay I was too it's been kin there so they put you through boot camp right yeah so was it right away that you started kind of experiencing more physicality or was it over time it was right away yeah it was right away it was a six-week training and they work you out the whole time they they feed you stuff designed to put weight on you in okay they really calorie you up and gotcha it was if you want to say instantaneous over six weeks sure that's pretty yeah actually right you know in terms of body image its up so now thinking about body image I know in America we spend a lot of time on body image on the female front right that we're very unfair to females that if they aren't this Cosmo cover of Cosmo fantasy thing because actually that woman's been like kind of yeah re brushed up into something that doesn't even exist but what about like body image you went in and you said you were scrawny weren't too happy about that and then you got a little more buff what happened upstairs for you well my mental approach really changed because I thought well you know what now I can be on par with the other guys okay that would push me around when I was little and skinny I felt like I was on a more level playing field and that did something to me mentally I thought that I could really do more things and and and I could you know I got a little stronger there you go and yeah it was a big impact for me at the end of the day men kind of compete right men don't compete no no no well guys you know yes so we talked about this quite a bit in our community that there's a few nuances right men and women have a lot of similarities right in our biochemistry and who we are as human being somos sapiens but there's a couple of key distinct differences and it seems like women are kind of hardwired for connection right but us men are hard-wired for competition and it makes it harder to connect when you're competing right it sure does if I'm looking at you and going on I don't know I think you can benchpress more than me and I'm not really connecting deeper with you that's true you you kind of size each other up you know can I take this guy or what would I do if it kind of made him move and you're evaluating each other like that or he's taller he's he's broader than me and you're right it's it's subconscious we do that a lot and I think it it factors into the kind of decisions we make with each other okay and what we choose to do with each other when we go out with the guys I mean it's always competition so when you got into the military did that impact who you ran with like who was the Jeff Scott Ruiz group of guys that you hung out with were they bigger than you smaller than you I actually don't think love is achill I don't I actually don't think the the body size was was a factor there and we could just hanging around with the same type of guys that were doing the same kind of things so is interested in Abhi's yeah yeah it was okay so you mentioned you were a little bit scrying but did you have it have you had any other kind of challenges around the physical fitness room or that bucket in a man's life actually I have okay because I was always a little resentful of how skinny I was and you know relatively weak compared to other guys so after I put on the weight in the military and I kept going and after I got out I thought the answer to presenting myself as a tough guy was to just try to get more stout yeah unfortunately it was a result it resulted in weight gain for me at I gained a lot of weight and I became really puffy and solid and I was kind of proud of a bigger chest and all that but the whole time mentally I'm thinking you got a you got to look tougher you have to appear tougher I got up to 220 pounds at my heaviest is 510 okay so I was I was kind of portly and after I moved here to Colorado about 12 and a half years ago I started being more active going out hiking more and doing more physical things because I wanted to take care of that I thought well I really overdid it you know I ballooned out and I think this is too much even though I look stout I don't feel good okay cuz it wasn't natural okay so you'd push it beyond I did what your body I'll let myself go carry okay right but I had a bigger profile so I thought it was cool but after I moved here I did a lot of outdoor activity like I said and I got down to 180 I lost 40 pounds after moving here on the first year and I was really proud of that and that's when I started to feel better mentally about my physical fitness because I thought well you know I do look better and I feel better and I'm maintaining about that weight right now so you gonna make me do math yeah 30 almost 13 years ago so I'm 55 now so 42 42 and and here's where I'm headed with this because you know it's starting to become pretty well known in the medical field and beyond the medical field about men and at their middle age right kind of in their 40s the testosterone starts to drop there's a colony starts to drop we're not really where our lifestyle is not very conducive towards physicality you know you sit in the car you go to to and from work you sit at your desk right for hours on end you might sit in front of the tube right watching a game or go to the movies I mean just like sit sit sit yeah sit Ubu sit a lot of damn said it's true especially when we get a little older it and then it seems like oh you know I did I just don't have time I mean I would but I can't quite get to it and then one day becomes one month becomes one year and before you know it right so what upstairs you know in your mental space said no no this is enough like 220 is too much you know I'm gonna get after it was there like a certain moment was there a threshold was it a progression it was a daily progression because I would get winded walking up a flight of stairs so it was it was a health concern yeah I would get out of breath very easily and I just didn't like the way I was starting to look in knowing that I'm getting older and I was in my 40s at the time so I thought you know what if I don't do something pretty quickly this could get out of hand you know chance of diabetes or any other kind of conditions or back problems you name it so I really wanted to arrest that so but I'd say the big science for me was were being out of breath all the time and just feeling lousy yeah there you go you know guys that's a big tip you know we we have in America spend so much time about self-image on the female slant of the equation but think about us men you know with physical fitness and the five pillars of male wellness we want to ask you this question and you don't have to answer it right now and maybe you don't even want to think about it right now because heck it's TDI but overtime at least let this process in your brain and then seep down into your bones and decide you know when you look up when you get out of the shower right and there you are on your big boy no pants and your birthday suit you look in the mirror you know the question comes down to this do you like what you see do you love what you see do you not like what you see god forbid do you hate what you see you know a lot of self-medicating and men comes down to self-loathing and that could be on the physical front and you know don't blame yourself this isn't about shame blame and guilt we just admitted that hey here in the United States of America we're not exactly putting you into a lifestyle that's going to turn you into you know mr. USA bodybuilders so so as you were doing that Jeff what what might be your suggestion for other guys like us dare I say middle-aged you're doing you can say mentally middle-aged young prime and in our prime what what would you say would be your advice to them you know to stay consistent or you know what did you do that kept you going you know to get from 220 to 180 but then you know a lot of people they're just boom right they bounce right back and they're right back to the 220 and you haven't so I think I would probably allude to what you said about how how we take ourselves when we look at each other in the mirror for example I used to look at myself in the mirror and just not like what I saw I mean just the whole package yeah okay right and that defines you mentally so who you think you are it may not be what others think of you but the self-loathing I think is a very important part I would try to get across to the guys middle-aged we're talking about that 40s when the body starts to change hey look guys actually tried to love yourself try to appreciate what you're looking at you know it's it's not the end good endgame or anything like that try to make it a point to spend a few minutes a day with positive self-talk there you go and positive reinforcement and an encouragement about yourself and just you start doing that enough times and you create a different habit there you go and habits can change we're not stuck with the way we're thinking all the time these things can change and it'll change your energy also so I think that's what I would suggest just tell yourself a little bit every day how awesome you are I like that so you start with that muscle right up here in the mind right in the self-talk and then you generate patterns that then become habits and guys it's pretty simple habits either build you up or break you down and the nice thing about it is you can change that today tomorrow next week next month there's nothing that says that just because you've been one way for a year or ten years or however long that you can't shift that starting today starting tomorrow that's right which is good news for all of us right now don't buy the hype guys right I mean I can remember back in the day when I was in college I'm in hell it was like a part-time job I mean we were lifting all the time I was a football player we ran we played basketball I mean heck I was probably doing physical stuff 25 hours a week which is impossible right later in life yeah unless somebody's gonna pay us to go to the gym which mostly they don't guys right so this isn't that you got to wake up and become Batman or Superman or spider-man or you got to be a you know an MMA guy you got to you know win mr. universe but it really to just point it's just about accepting what you look like and what's the best version of you and getting back to his face where you know you got that nice energy mm-hmm and I'll speak more on that about the energy okay tell us there was a time where I was going to the gym I haven't been doing so well in that area lately but I made myself go to the gym at least four morning's a week that's panic and just going there for an hour whether it was treadmill or elliptical or the weights I mean you're right that that stimulates the body right physically you feel energized you feel charged and it's a chain reaction because then the brain gets charged the brain gets stimulated you feel good about what you just did and the rest of your day is awesome at least I thought so yeah especially when you start in the very beginning of the day so yeah that it there physical change to that yeah that's nice you know guys that's one of the reasons you might have heard me say this that I try to do this mile a day thing right could I run more yes do I do it a hundred percent no because perfection is ridiculous don't even try it's not going to happen I'm hitting about four a week and you know here's why I do that guys it's pretty simple in our 40s being in shape is 100% on purpose in our 20s being in shape it can just happen by accident so this is the shifting over time you can't drink the 12-pack of beer sit on the couch six days a week and then figure that you're gonna look like a bodybuilder it just doesn't happen the metabolism slows down this body is a machine right and at 48 there's things I cannot do at 24 it's just not going to happen so you can fight it or you can accept it and then work with it and adjust accordingly so as we're kind of wrapping up I always like to ask this question Jeff so what what kind of quote unquote myth would you like to dispel to the men in our community about the whole physical fitness thing bigger and tougher is not always better believe me I have learned that the hard way the myth that you have to be the big strong guy is exactly that it's a myth guys we got brains we can excel in many other ways let the big guys do the heavy lifting you know we don't have to do it all we think we can but we don't have to do it all I mean I don't have to throw out my back just to prove something no and I used to be the kind of guy that says oh I'll get that I'll get that and I threw out my back a few did you let other guys who were able to do that do that yeah so the myth that you have to be strong and tough is we need to dispel that right away and use our other talents that we have become a little more holistic right that seems right back into what we were talking at the man map last night you know if you're super awesome in one category meaning you know your physical fitness is off the charts but your mental toughness is zippo where your spiritual power is non-existent or your finances are then really how tough are you okay so as we wrap up today guys we want to remind you a couple of things we've got beers bros Bucks in Colorado Springs next Wednesday so be there for that we're gonna do a deep dive and then the second Wednesday of June we'll have beers bros bucks here in Denver and then all of this is leading us up to the granddaddy of them all you're not going to want to miss this so Saturday June 29th we're gonna be in Northwest Parker at the Salomon Center from 9 to noon and we're gonna do a deep dive breakdown of the five pillars of male wellness according to be men we're gonna have five experts in the room we're gonna have an incredible moderator and Kirk and Samuels and gentlemen I promise you that'll be three hours that could change your life forever so always remember we do better together it's we not me let's be extraordinary you

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