My mental health Journey | SYDEL CURRY

all right round three of me trying to film this very hard video thank you guys for coming back to my channel always feel so blessed that you guys want to come back and listen to what I have to say I really appreciate it today it's a kind of gloomy day I'm feeling very well and so this is just me wanting to sit down and talk to you all about a subject that I've I've promised something that's I knew it was gonna be completely and utterly hard for me to for me to film and talk about because one this is the first time that I've talked to basically the world about us about this not just like my family or my fiancee or close friends like this is something that it's very near and dear and a film I'm feeling a little bit vulnerable but we'll get through it because it's very important that for me that I talk to you all about it because when I mentioned when I talk about myself and my brand a huge part of my brand is mental illness and mental health and changing the stigma behind it and letting people know they're not alone with however they're feeling in that area there are thousands and billions of people in this world who deal with mental health and mental illness on a high scale low scale middle scale but they deal with it in any way shape or form and not a lot of people wanting to talk about it hopefully this will impact someone life as they watch this and you know help start that process of recovery and and survival and help start the journey through getting better if you like videos like this please give it a thumbs up and let me know what you think in the comments I do read your comments and I really appreciate you guys taking the time out to you know write some things down and just give me some feedback that's always great so yeah I'm gonna jump into this video again subscribe like thumbs up all of that fun stuff and yeah so um for me mental illness has not always been an issue and people would think Oh like you have this great life like you have no issues or you have a great family and all this stuff and that yeah that's 100% true I have a great family I have a great life I am blessed beyond measures but when there are times when I don't understand why I'm getting so so strung out or caught up and like the smallest things like that kind of can make things worse and I think about why you stressed about my anxiety kind of rocketed when I was in this relationship that wasn't that great I was you know dealing with the fact that I was leaving home and going to school even though I wasn't that far away I was dealing with the pressures of you know playing and being a do you want a fleet which I can I'll get into even a little bit more but like it's just small things that kind of build up to be bigger things and then that's kind of when I realized like these are small things to me why am i stressing out why do I have anxiety over these things if they're small but my I like to say that my mountains may not be as high or as treacherous as someone else's mountains but they're still my mountains and they're still my battles so yes there is always someone that has it worse than me there's always gonna be someone worse someone who just has like bigger struggles than I do but that doesn't that isn't negate or lessen my own struggles and that's why I like to tell people who are like oh but you know it's like it's a really dumb it's a dumbed issue like it's that it but if you're really struggling over it that doesn't mean that it's not something that's tough for you just because someone else has it worse off I hope that makes sense but that's kind of like my saying since growing up as well I'm just as a kid I always wanted to feel included and I always thought about what people thought about me and so that all kind of built up and then just like through Wow I had five concussions in the past five years but concussions really like physically can do something to your head if you do some research like there's a lot of things that can happen which is why it's being taken so seriously nowadays and so I have no no dye my mind that my five concussions has really affected me and my anxiety and my stress levels I get super anxious over the smallest things possible I could be out for hours and hours and go to many different functions and just do this living life having fun and not knowing nothing beyond go home within the day and just go to sleep and you know enjoy my night and have enjoyed my night but I noticed that on my graduation day I woke up and I had mentor graduation and I was sitting in the Sun or strong it by dozens of people thousands of people and then after graduation I got across the stage I had to see all my family and I was just a big supportive family and they were all there and I'm taking pictures and I'm enjoying my time and then I go back to my apartment at school and I make in we had to check out that day so there's my family is in there my roommates family is in there so there's like a ton of people and this tiny 2-bedroom apartment and then we go I have a graduation party and there's my whole entire family at my graduation party and then we go to Charlotte sober I went to school was in Burlingtons about an hour and a half almost two hours from Charlotte so then after the graduation party in Burlington we drive back to Charlotte and my graduation was during playoffs so we usually have watched parties on knife at my family house and so we went back to the house there was like 80 plus people at this at this watch party for the Warriors and I but then I was supposed so I'm with my family we're all having fun watching the game and I was supposed to go out to out to sell at my graduation with all my friends after the game was over and at some point during that during the the watch party I found myself in my back yard crying because I was just so overwhelmed and not like I was overwhelmed yes the other day because I was like with all the love and support that I that was my family with all the love and support that my family has shown me throughout that day and showing up and you know being there for me I'm one of the biggest days in my life but I was overwhelmed with just the amount of activity that was going on and I could not handle it like I'm sitting on the in my backyard on the stairs like crying because I was thought of having to go somewhere to go out that night with my friends who I love dearly just scared the crap out of me and it just I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it and that's when I realized like I'm not the same person that I was before I actually had a problem and I have I have a therapist or a counselor she she's great she lives back in North Carolina so I would find anybody out here that you know that I could go talk to but I was doing well when I was with her and whenever I would go see here like it was fine but you know it's tough it's tough first of all being able to trust someone and so like that's the show love having to find someone right now to talk to because you got to really build that trust again but I missed that I miss being able to go in and talk to someone she was on my campus so it was great going to talk to her and everything but I don't know I just feel like mental illness and mental health is something that to not ignore it's it's not something that you can just you know live go through go through life without addressing if it's affecting you in your daily living go speak to somebody go get some help I'm not saying you need to go get medication I'm not on medication I don't medicate because just for personal reasons I just don't feel like I should at least at this point and there are some days where I'm like okay now I need medication like I can't take this I can't live like this but then I just kind of come around and I'm like no I don't need medication I just need to focus on myself I need to breathe like breathing helps me so much I dive into like my faith is a big part a big part of you know my my journey and getting through all of this I rely heavily on my my family and friends my fiance which is hard sometimes especially cuz it can affect it can affect your relationship sir some days like just like I'm just gonna be really transparent with you all some days like Damien is so great with like how he deals with me and he tries so hard and he's so loving and supportive and their days were like I'm so mean to him because I don't know why I got it might be this might be a little bit too much information but like when you're dealing with that like you just can't help it and I feel so bad afterwards after I've calmed down after everything is okay like I feel so bad because I know he tries so hard and it's really hard to you know relate to something that you don't really he doesn't really understand or it's really hard to like some days I want him to be like you know very caring and very like hands-on and some days I don't want him I don't want anything to do with anything or anybody so it's really hard and I try really hard you know just to keep my my life or keep my anxiety and stress and there's like that like too intact so that I'm not affecting my relationships and my family so it's I'm not perfect sometimes I'm gonna fail but it's really nice for me to have that support system and I know that a lot of people don't have that support system and that's why I think that it's really important you know to seek professional help because that's their profession and that's what they're trained at and that's what they love doing like if you're gonna be in that profession you have to be passionate about helping people if be passionate about being a support system for someone who may not have that support system at home so if you're watching this and you've been contemplating going to talk to somebody or whatever I I would say go 100% go go just speak to somebody about how you're feeling if it's small a little big whatever minutes I like I don't care what it is just go speak to someone tell them how you're feeling why you feel this way just just lay it all on them because I promise like it will be worth it it will be worth it I know this this video is like all over the place and editing this is gonna be the excel what he's talking about but ah this is the best thing right now that I can I can you know explain it to you I hope that whoever's watching this and you're feeling the same way you're not feeling alone you're feeling very encouraged that like hey I feel these these ways sometimes but I'm gonna get through it I deal with these things but I live a very happy life I'm not saying it's because you have depression anxiety whatever other mental illness that you're dealing with think you can get through it it's a journey that's why I'm is why the title of this is gonna be my mental health journey because there's never gonna be an ending point it's just learning ways to to address these issues whether that's meditation prayer breathing talking to someone medication like there are ways to overcome this to this thing and yes you're gonna have great days yes you're gonna have horrible days but you're not alone if that's one thing that I want to come across in this video is that you are not alone there are a billion other people in this world who are dealing with the same things and if we all come together and we all talk about it openly and not be ashamed of it we all will be better people not just for ourselves but for each other now I'm done preaching again I hope you guys enjoyed this video if you have any questions or anything leave them below in the comments I'm gonna try to really you know respond back especially on this subject because it's a really important subject and and if you don't have anyone to talk to just so that I'm I'm here to talk to you thank you again for watching if you all have a really blessed and beautiful day when everyday you're watching this and I will see you all in my next video


  1. Hello. I have written in a much more recent video a comment that I hope helps. One youtuber that reminds me of you with her anxiety and clinical depression but from a much much younger age is:

    She reminds me of the middle eastern version of youself possibly if that doesn't sound weird. She is very caring, nurturing, and really cares about people and mental health and keep life simple and at this point may have had her first child or is about to. It may be worth a look to see if some things she says about anxiety and depression resonate with you. It has with me as I'm working through stress and anxiety and depression that wasn't really an issue thank God until few years ago when turning 30 and then an unexpected passing of my best friend in the world, my mama'. It came on suddenly and left me like, "What???" . But God being the best medicine and doctor as my mama' says has brought the right people and resources into my life to get stronger mentally and physically again (played competitive soccer since a little boy). So with resources like you and the link I put above and many others, I really think you situation will drastically improve, and others looking from the outside may notice it in you first before we notice it ourselves. That has been my experience a little bit at least, so not sure. Well hang in there, praying for you, and I'm sure God will surprise you when you least expect it!!! Mental wellness is around the corner!! Grace, peace, health.

  2. Have you ever just prayed and give this all to the Lord! Sometimes bad spirit can stay around if you have fear of dealing with your feelings alone. Yeshua can heal all things if you lay them at his feet! I pray you get through this and healing daily becomes easier for you.

  3. Thanks for being so honest, it's what we all need to hear. I think you did a great job and I know it is not easy to talk about. Again, thanks so much for your video!!!

  4. Thank you Sydel for being brave enough to speak about mental illness and I pray that you find peace through God and prayers, and you're right it's nothing to be ashamed of that's why people stay sick they don't talk about the things that bother them… May God keep you and bless you while on this journey…❤❤❤

  5. Thank you for sharing your story. I finally just had the courage to post a video about my mental health and having bad depression. Mental illnesses come in all different forms. I never knew anxiety happens the way you described it. Stay strong, and thanks again for opening up about this. I know how hard it is to be transparent about mental health.

  6. Your so open and honest, I love you babyCurry😍😍😍😍😘😘

  7. Omg BabyCurry😍😍😍😍 I so love this whole family. Your beautiful, I subscribed and thank you for discussing mental health, it is a big issue in Chicago.

  8. I think you live in the bay area. Thank you for sharing your story. I have had the same wonderful therapist for nearly 20 years. She has helped me through symptoms of Complex PTSD and also work through being a sensitive person that is prone to triggers. I'm also a Christian and she honors that. Her name is Rose Phelps, her phone number is 510-658-4344. I just wanted to share this. Finding someone safe is so important and she was that for me after I transplanted here (from a previous therapist). 🙂 Peace to you!

  9. I hope you feel better I'm sick too love.

  10. Sydel
    You’ve taken the words out of a lot mouths mental health is hard to explain how it makes you feel
    Many people do have it worse and lives are different the problem is we are living our life
    You can’t make each day pitiful you have to go out make the best of all you have to be thankful for because it could be worse
    I feel some days I cannot go on but I don’t want to miss this life I’ve been given
    But I dream of dying dream of life without me
    I have a wonderful sister and. 2 awesome sons I’d hate to leave
    I’m glad mental health is a forefront in society we all need. Support and understanding
    I see a therapist and psychiatrist it helps I take medication but I don’t feel right
    I have the no one understands no one will ever understand why I took my life I’m not going to but there are says like I’ve said I just can’t anymore I have more negativity in my life it out weighs my positive
    I subscribed to you
    My 1st subscription
    I think you’re intelligent beautiful and very grounded
    Keep helping in this way I’ll be watching and listening
    Enjoy your parents every time you can I lost my parents 19yrs ago when I was 35 it’s been rough I never knew how much I needed them or I would miss them
    Damion seems awesome
    Please love and take care of Sydel you lucky man

  11. I think You a very special for sharing …Sharing is caring. Generations of Family Love….Outskirtpress and outskirtpublishing. short poetry book that helped me and it could help you.. Not a lot of pages because most time you don't want to read but you will find it helpful . Mental Health doesnt discriminate so I am glad you shared your story. You could help people and also help get housing for people with mental health to if people could live independently and get help from therir doctor and therapist. It would be great . But the money isn't there. I write I am a published author and Lyricist and I don't have the funds to produce but I do have creative style to donate to help get housing for people with mental health live independent and get help they need. My vision is not small but obtainable.

  12. Glad you shared this story, you are brave, strong and positive keep pushing.

  13. I know this video is old, but thank you! Thank you for sharing your story and making it make sense. I didn’t have an issue with anxiety or depression until I gave birth. My delivery was extremely traumatic and I almost lost my life. What started out as Postpartum turned into PTSD. My baby is almost 2 years old and I still struggle with anxiety. I have gone to counseling before, but I changed jobs and insurance and I haven’t been back. Having anxiety is hard to deal with, but I’m at a point now where I am trying to find ways to cope with it and push through it. Thank you for sharing your story.

  14. mostly everything i do takes a lot of force and push. i can't find any purpose in doing things most times because i overthink and don't know if i really need to do this. a simple thing like studying or going to work out drags me to not doing anything in the first place and being so passive. thank you for sharing Sydel!

  15. Thank you for sharing this, I think my daughter goes through this..

  16. Just seeing this post for the first time today. Thank you for being a voice and face, to those who may feel that they are alone. I'm a mother of two beautiful teenaged young ladies and a wife of a wonderful husband. All three are gifted and highly talented; and yet live with anxiety and or depression. Two years ago, my oldest daughter took her own life. I believe it's vital to have young voices as yourself to speak truth about mental health, our faith, and how we can still overcome when the feelings and life's expectations become a lot. Many times our youth (especially) feel isolated and different, when in reality they are not. Many struggle in silence. Thank you for showing they do not have to.
    God bless you Sydel.Continue sharing and being a lighthouse.

  17. I hear you. At some point you may want share how you balance the issue in perspective with your faith: christ is the perpetual hope. He is the one to focus on for love, acceptance, security and worth. That focus does come with growth but the saying, "jesus is all you need when jesus is all you have . Strips away the layers of expectations we carry. Glad you shared.

  18. I will be 51 soon. At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Had to take depression meds most of my adult life. At the age of 40. I decided that I no longer wanted to take meds. So I'm free of meds for almost 11 years now. I let God take care of me now. Of course I still cry but that's what makes me who I am. I also feel mean with my words so I've learned to say sorry alot. Love you have such a good soul God will always be there for you. Thanks for standing up for the mentally ill. Have a bless day.

  19. I struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time…..till I personalised my relationship with Jesus that I held on to his word and prayer……..I talked to God about it and I cried to God….and he came through. ….it just ended…how it ended I don't know….but I know who ended it… was Jesus ….. habour his word……He merciful and compassionate. …he sets the captives free……

  20. I wish I could like this video 1000 times…. Thank You SC-L .

  21. Thank you for sharing, you're a great human being and we all are proud of you. Stay blessed

  22. It’s gonna be ok give it to god u are a beautiful person ad I can relate

  23. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone….I'm a new subby to your channel and I really enjoy your videos….when I saw the title I clicked on it because I just figured she must be just speaking in general about mental health….surely she's not suffering from mental illness….her life is beautiful and she has everything(family, friends, beauty, education, everything) but I was wrong….life is tough no matter who you are and where you come from….so from the bottom of my heart….thank you for sharing

  24. Thank you ❤🙏

  25. Thank you Sydel for your vlogs but this one I have so much love and appreciation for. Mental health truly is a big part of our well being and watching this vlog makes me feel that I am not alone for knowing at least one person can share similar feeling and thoughts! Being 24 and going through good and bad stressors has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone and taught me so much about myself and learning to trust/communicate with people about these talks. I would love to see more of these discussions! Life can be so fast pace we forget to just sit down and learn feel comfortable and safe being able to talk about things like this. It should be something we ignore and sometimes we turn our heads real quick and don’t see how others are affected too! Much love to you your way, girl!!💕💕

  26. Yeah you alright no one perfect yes sis

  27. Thank you for being so open. I also have anxiety i have learned how to breathe through them. Praying and therapy helped me.

  28. Thank you for sharing your story I suffer from Anxiety and Depression

  29. I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my YouTube channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤

  30. 💖💖💖 Very Inspired!

  31. You’re so beautiful!!!! Bring a woman of color I really appreciate you coming forward and sharing your story. I think you should start a line of organic candles, blankets, vitamins that help with anxiety/depression, and a self help book.

  32. Thank you for doing this 🙏🏽❤️ god bless

  33. I have depression and anxiety. Honestly i don't know how my husband put up with me, but I'm so greatful because i know it's not easy.

  34. I have a twin sister that is dealing with anxiety disorder, she totally refuses to go for help, now the whole family stays away from her because she causes too much drama…it's a sad world… how do you help someone to get help who doesn't want to?

  35. You could just be an extreme introvert.

  36. Hello. I'm so happy to see someone to talk about mental illness. I've SUFFER with and diagnosed manic/bipolar with suicidal tendencies. I'm in therapy for over 10 years. I pray we can talk 1 day. Praying your New Year's is blessed with blessings in every area of your life.

  37. Sydel, I'm sure you know, too much of a good thing is not good. Your anxiety attack in your back yard I believe was the result of fatigue from too much fun. I think it's great that you are not deterred by our cultures demonization of mental illness and that you are tackling it just like you tackle anything else. Life is a very serious process. It is not a poo-pie material affair. As I heard a wise person say, " Most people believe a human being is a body with a spirit, but it's just the opposite. A human being is a spirit with a body." What our culture considers mental illness in most cases is just a normal mental and spiritual reaction to a cold, shallow non-spiritual world.

  38. Thank you so much for speaking about this topic. I too have been suffering from anxiety and even insomnia since March, but I have a lot of faith and I know we will overcome this. ❤️

  39. I will look forward to your upcoming videos.

  40. Hello Sydel Curry, your video is greatly appreciated thanks. I love your family. Take care and God bless you all.

  41. Great video thank you for sharing.

  42. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  43. I am a new Sub. Love your channel thank you for this topic you are so real. Keep the vlogs coming.💕

  44. When you began the story about graduation, I was shook because I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about. I experienced something similar on my 21st birthday. I was at dinner with my family and I had been really struggling with anxiety for the past year but I didn't know what was going on. I'm black too and when depression was mentioned, loved ones shook it off immediately. I had to leave the dinner table and go to the restaurant bathroom because I couldn't breathe. And I was just on the floor in a restaurant bathroom crying. The next day I couldn't get out of bed and it finally occurred to me that something was wrong. Depression has been a gift because it has strengthened my relationship with Christ and I love Him for it but I couldn't agree more when you said it's a journey. It hasn't ended for me and it's still hard but I'm so thankful for your courage in sharing this. Thank God for you Sydel.

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