How the narcissist destroys your physical health



this is Apple Saab clinical psychologist at viral mind psychology here in Sydney in Australia and my website is www.miamikettlebell.com which I commenced last year these four videos that I did and because of your continued support and feedback I put together a new series of videos are focused on the narcissistic pathology the narcissist empath relationship and in this series also more practical strategies moving beyond just understanding the narcissist but practical strategies and insights to help those who are locked in to within an intimate relationship with a narcissist or who are struggling to overcome an intimate relationship with a narcissist so in today's video I want to talk about how the narcissist destroys your physical health and the purpose of this video is that narcissists being in a relationship with the narcissus especially an intimate romantic relationship but also a work relationship if you have a boss who has a narcissistic personality pathology it is an incredibly stressful experience and stress is not just psychological stress leaves a physical impact upon the body and in today's video I want to shine a spotlight on the negative physical health effects narcissus have upon us now narcissists are incredibly toxic and stressful because of the continuous uncertainty of being in a relationship with a narcissist whether it's the oscillation between idealization and evaluation at the gaslighting the escalation toward intimate partner abuse in terms of emotional or physical violence as incredibly stressful attacks upon the body and in terms of human beings the most profound stress a human can experience is interpersonal stress the stress that is in the domain of our interpersonal relationships so a divorce is incredibly stressful but that of a loved one is incredibly stressful being in a non-reciprocal intimate relationship is incredibly stressful having a very nice assisted demanding boss who bullies you is incredibly stressful and these are the sorts of problems that you know people seek psychological assistance for so interpersonal stress is probably the most profound source of stress for human beings more stressful than physical stressors now the toxic effects of being in a relationship with a narcissist the toxic physical effects are going to break down into two broad effects the first one is that a long term relationship with a narcissist locks the individual the other partner who is usually the empath the narcissist and Batman dynamic it locks the other individual into a panic of kryten into a pattern of chronic inflammation because of the uncertainty and the inherent lack of equilibrium in the relationship we can be thought of as a parasitic relationship where the narcissist is acting as a parasite the narcissus is acting to extract maximal energy from their partner priming this in the case we talked about from the empath and when you're locked into this sort of a pattern with another human being a chronic pattern like this it places the body is a something called sympathetic dominance or into the fight-or-flight mode now the sympathetic nervous system is one branch of what's called the autonomic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system is really fight/flight activation dealing with fear dealing with stress it's a part of the the nervous system that can activate our heart rate that can increase our rate of breathing that's going to increase blood pressure and it's also going to increase inflammation as I will be discussing in a moment and we can understand why the impact in a relationship with a narcissist would be locked into this chronically activated stress response of what we call sympathetic dominance with a sympathetic nervous system is chronically switched on because the M part has to be constantly vigilant to what the narcissist says or does they try to anticipate the neck the narcissist next move their bamboozled by the narcissist push for behaviors which again locks them into a chronic state of sympathetic nervous system dominance now this sympathetic nervous system activation increases inflammation in the body and the body if this inflammation is chronic we'll begin to produce inflammatory molecules called cytokines are these inflammatory proteins which the nervous system produces and amongst those are for example interleukin 6 TNF alpha and these when these are found to be elevated in the blood these are strong markers of an inflammatory response in the body and stress chronic stress that is not being switched off and inflammation go hand-in-hand now these inflammatory molecules affect every organ and tissue in the body and we can see the sorts of inflammatory diseases which in my experience empaths tend to be very vulnerable to and tend to have in larger numbers compared to other patients I see so if these inflammatory molecules these inflammatory cytokines which the body is pumping out the immune system is pumping out because of the chronic stress if they affect the brain we can see neurological disorders we can see multiple sclerosis we can see chronic fatigue syndrome if the inflammatory molecules affect the thyroid we might see things like Hashimoto's hyperthyroidism Graves disease if the flama Tory molecules are taking the bones then we might see use our disorders or diseases like rheumatoid arthritis if it's the muscle fibromyalgia is very common amongst empaths if it's the skin things like psoriasis if it's the gastro gastrointestinal tract illnesses such as Crohn's and Colitis and if it's the blood illnesses such as lupus now individuals and long-term relationships with narcissus tend to in my clinical experience experience are elevated rates of these sorts of inflammatory illnesses so to summarize the first effect the physical effect of being in a a relationship with the narcissus especially an intimate partner relationship is an increased inflammatory response which sets the stage for inflammatory disease the second major thing I've observed that effects the empath locked in to a intimate relationship with a narcissist is eventually a slowing down of the metabolic rate and I've especially observed this in female empaths as they approach or reach middle age so as the stress response intensifies the body as a defense maneuver and that adaptively slows down the metabolic rate as an adaptive mechanism to deal with the stress and this can manifest as hyperthyroidism as brain fog as fatigue as weight gain and trouble losing weight as the model as the metabolic rate drops under the pressure of the chronic stress now one of the things this produces psychologically for the impact is ace what I call a spellbinding effect chronic inflammation and a slowdown not metabolic rate put those two things together and the person begins to become increasingly psychologically out of touch increasingly spellbound increasingly unable to fully appreciate the reality of their situation and increasingly trapped within the orbit of the narcissist now eventually this will manifest as a metabolic disorder in many people and we see the weight gain the high blood pressure the diabetes are all common when an empath has been locked into an relationship with a narcissist over years now of course the narcissist will not will not will will use the opportunity of the deteriorating health of their partner will use it against them to devalue them emotional abuse towards put-downs convincing them that their physical health problems are evidence of their inherent effectiveness unworthiness unloved unloved ability and attractiveness so it's critically important for those locked into an abusive relationship with a narcissist to focus on improving your physical health to break free of the spellbinding effect of the narcissist because in my experience and past are notoriously notoriously good at ignoring the needs of their body they their energetic fields are so open and porous to giving to other people but they get into trouble by neglecting the body often leaving it to a point where you know they're being diagnosed with all sorts of illnesses and being put on all sorts of treatments so I hope that in this video I have inspired you to think about the the health effects of being in a long-term relationship with the narcissus and to use this information to begin to come up with a plan to get your physical health back on track using whatever supports are available to you within your local environment in the next video in this new series on narcissism I'm going to be discussing the pathological core belief the impact must face if they are to grow and break free of the narcissist I look forward to reading your comments please subscribe to the channel when you subscribe please click on that Bell icon so that you know when I've uploaded a video and please check out my website wwlp.com au thank you very much and I hope to catch you soon all the best

23 Comments

  1. Please keep in mind the following when commenting:

    I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.

  2. By the end of my relationship with a narcissist I weighed 41kg and had inexplicable pain in the whole left side of my body. The message about encouraging empaths to prioritise their health is so vitally important. Thank you for this information, it is invaluable.

  3. So they’re like a virus…they enter your life and destroy your health and do everything that’ll make you more likely to stay…and all this without your even knowing it.
    This guy is a narcissist savant! He really knows what he’s talking about!
    Thank you so much

  4. A lot of my family members are narcissists. Dealing with them is like taking care of a bunch of babies. I've shut a lot of them out because I can not even stand being in a conversation with any of them as they constantly nit-pic at my physic, job, or anything else they can think of. I understand now why I have such social anxiety because my first thoughts are always "What do they want?", because that has always been with my family when communicating. Health wise, I've always suffered with intense allergies and asthma.

  5. They need to excise the narc boss like a malignant tumor. They use their ower to play psychological warfare with you due to their own jealousies. Your role is a deer caught in headlights. Not reactionary but more from a place of quiet proficiency.

  6. fatige, arthritis, lost of time and memories, split personality, shaking, breathing problems, asthma,

  7. Thank you
    About 14 yrs now I've been asking medicle perfetionals exactly what does life long stress do to the human body & they still look at me with confusion = I finly have the skill DON'T EXPLAIN -Move on to next topic. I'm 58yrs old down to 102 pounds. I went from 145 down to 115 in about a years time, now I'm 102 & steadily losing. Yes I'm just focusing on keeping daily meals in my body and the stress of that alone is overwhelming. LOL the help in my state gives me a mental health diagnosis then sends me home all done. I can go to weekly consoling to learn stress management skills which are already my life style with my self improvement personality.
    Thank you this is hopeful there is a solution cuz this just eat is'ent working very well BUT it's helpful in hanging on to hope

  8. I got away from a physically and verbally abusive narcissist. But after 20 years., he will still not let go, and sign the divorce papers.

    First he stole almost everything we owned , claims it all, and left my children and I penniless, and homeless, and struggling to survive.

    All the while he remarried and lives in luxury on everything that he stole from me. I now have many of the physical symptoms mentioned.

    Is there any help for us, who are the targets of of these vindictive narcissists? Any advice on how to be free from a narcissist legally?

  9. Excellent teaching about evil narcissism.

  10. When you’re narcissist has left your life , you get better. But it takes years, and their is residual permanent damage . But anything is better than being with a narcissist.

  11. I have a 25-year-old daughter who has completely abandoned me! No doubt she inherited her dad's narcissistic DNA, as I'm an empath, and always was! I was a single mother from the time she was 6 mos old, loved her more than myself, gave her everything, praised her every accomplishment, etc. I'm now 58, she's 25! Doesn't call, visit, nothing. Don't have any idea where she is. Went off to college 5 years and I don't know what in the world happened. As a result, I'm physically sick every day of my life. If one can call it a life! I live with a broken heart too! I just cannot wrap my brain around WHY she's doing this! I honestly have no idea! I'm grieving my days away! Her degree is in Psychology. So, wouldn't she know what this is doing to me?

  12. I wish my parents would watch this video. They are both Narrcissists with personality disorders and I'm the Empath. What you've said in this video – it's like you were almost explaining my life! Many years ago, I was also in a long term relationship with a guy that's a very toxic Narcissist. I've learned sooooooo much about why he was/is the way he is and it helps me understand it fully and how a relationship with him was doomed even before it started. To all who read all of this from me in the comments, I wish you love, stability, reflection, energy, bravery, and most of all PEACE!

  13. I developed an autoimmune skin disorder (psoriasis) and then blew up in weight no matter what I did while being with my ex. It took so much for me to leave him and then I finally dropped most of the weight and my skin healed after beginning vaccinations…. Everyone comments on how I am so happy now and look some in better. My goodness, please write a book!!!!

  14. THIS IS MY LIFE!!!! I did not realize this until the last few years, I have always been an empath since a child. I started a relationship with my husband at age 21 we were both 21 and I was always very independent, I had gone through a divorce had 3 kids 3 and under and was working full time, going to school, and being a single mom. We had been great friends since high school around 9 th grade. Truly my first marriage was SO BAD that anything seemed better. I ended up working for the top hair salons in my area, then opened my own shop. He had never really held down a long term relationship before because of the way he grew up his mom and dad where both on drugs and alcohol and he lived with his aunt and grandmother who both where verbally and somewhat physically abusive. He was never hugged or told he was loved. Still to this day he is 49 and his father has never told him he loves him to this day, MY FAMILY turned into his family my mom and dad loved him like he was there son, they have now both passed away. But I have needed love from him since the begging and he would walk in front of me not hold my hand things like that. We ended up getting married in when I was 24 he JUST turned 25 that month. He had his own home, and a rental property he never even now has never called me a bad name not to my face anyway. He is more covert! Like somehow I ended up being an independent loving VERY EMPATHETIC I was and still am everyones counseler from EVERY DIRECTION, everyone calls me with their problems and to pray with them and I love that. BUT about 15 years ago. I started getting sick, and I was in and out the hospital etc. I was on my fourth child had lost my mom and lost a baby and the stress of a partner who NEVER SHOWED LOVE on his own unless I initiated SO I am now reclusive pretty much except church ! If it was not for my relationship with GOD and my strength I would be dead because I have EVERYTHING and more that you just listed as health problems. WE have really been going threw it, because for some reason I have not had my own car for almost 10 years, seriously I am only 48 and he is now my caretaker. I dont know what to do. I really do love him, and I feel like he loves me as much as he can, he tries he does and lately especially he has finally even admitted that he does not know why he is like he is but I am what makes him the man he is, and he could not do it without me, and he loves me so much and he is truly a FANTASTIC father to all four children even the 3 from the 1st marriage who are now 30 28 and 27 and our daughter together is now 13. He is a good man and does everything for everybody but ME! I cant divorce him, can he change because we have been together for 27 years, my youngest son was only 6 months old. He finally JUST bought me a diamond ring and wedding band about 3 years ago, because I literally cried over and over for all those years saying if he loved me I should not have to ask for a wedding ring that he would WANT me to have it! Also this one car thing because I am sick and can no longer work is getting me just to the point of giving up on anything getting better and just except it for what it is, I am almost 49 and lived in it this long. And like I said usually its so darn sneaky the kids just see me crying or upset and do not understand, because they see him bring me food etc. because my knee is so bad from the inflammation and arthritis I need a knew knee only they said I am not old enough and with all my auto immune response my body will most likely reject it like it did the lap band! It was like a cocoon the Dr had to cut out! So what can I do?

  15. This is such a valuable video of me – a wak up call. Thank you so much.

  16. Ended up with stomach problems which were investigated but nothing was found. Also developed an intolerance to certain foods, fibromyalgia type symptoms and ptsd. Since the last discard( 5wks ago) and regular therapy sessions which I started nearly a year ago, these symptoms have eased greatly. Thank you for sharing this.

  17. May I make a suggestion? I really like your videos and have found them useful and insightful, for me complimented by reading the psychological literature. May I propose as topics more on the interactions between dysfunctional types, for instance borderline and narcissist parents? There are other combinations that spring to mind as well, but essentially my suggestion is about situating character disturbed people into social contexts. Thanks again for all your effort in shaing your knowledge in your videos.

  18. My depression just got worse, while married to such a person for 25 years….now that I am seperated from him, my depression has almost disappeared???

  19. That's interesting. To my experience partners of narcissists may even develop cancer or multiple sclerosis. I know one who was a two time widower and both of his wifes died of cancer…
    They also use obvious health threats on their partner, for example "forgetting" food allergies, which means downright poisoning their partner!

  20. This info is priceless

  21. God bless you, Abdul! This video & whole your series are excellent, so clear & helpful!

  22. Ty so much for the great insight for me, you do a great job. God bless you

  23. Great info.

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