Funny Diet Fails We Can All Relate To


I’m only gonna eat two slices, I swear! Cuts the pizza right in half!! Legit if I lie to everybody it counts as a diet right?!?! Well this isn’t lying, It’s a little tweak of the truth -_(-_-)_/- I would say a little – a little minor adjustment. You’re not lying. That’s only two slices, but it’s also a whole pizza. It also looks like a tiny pizza in their defense okay, so today We are looking at diet fails that everybody can relate to disclaimer ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Don’t do any diets. They’re not good for you It’s different to be healthy and be on a diet. You get what I’m saying You should be healthy, but don’t do something crazy like You know what I’m saying. Don’t do anything crazy your health comes first this person was like yeah I’m gonna start weighing myself every day You know trying to figure out if my diet is working, and then they stroll past the brownie aisle, and they’re like BROWNIES And they’re like screw this. i just threw my phone… They’re like screw this toss their scale onto the shelf and grab some brownies it looks like they cleared out the whole shelf too. Well that Backfired yeah now. This is a good old fortune Cookie what it says is if you eat something and nobody sees you eat it it has no calories the calories don’t count I Feel it we think this is true like I’m sure you have all been there. You know when Something like You’re like you’re like. I want going for a second helping of that Those cookies and then you like sneak into the kitchen and you open the package like real slow and it’s so loud you know like I *opening package sound* don’t want anyone to know we eat the Cookies and like why why do we feel the need to be secretive? Why do we think if we secretly eat things that are bad for us it doesn’t count? I will never get to the bottom of this because I have done this. Oh, no First of all how the hell would you break a chair like that? Like how does it snap in half on those things? I feel like those things are metal I think it’s metal how do you break that I feel really bad like this would be me though like straight up like I would be the person that would sit in like the chair That’s like already broken, and then everybody would be like she broke it and then I would just like die in embarrassment It’d be like okay let’s just pretend I’m invisible LET’S JUST PRETEND I’M INVISIBLE! I I’m like legit. I’m like Anything awkward you can think of like I have encountered it. I have lived it. I have been through it I am the most clumsy person you’ll ever meet ever Like don’t trust me around your liquids. I will spill them everywhere Okay, so they’ve made a portion plate so the portion place shows you like this is how much fruits you need to have vegetables fats and oils whole grains meat and proteins so that you can accurately measure Everything and then we got this guy who’s like I’m gonna throw, what looks like I don’t know what is that like? potatoes? pizza pockets? Pierogies, I don’t know what they are But they look good and unhealthy I’m not gonna lie guys like I friggin love food food makes me happy So let me be happy and let me eat, whatever I want like this is fun and all but it’s not fun because you’re just like it’s such a chore like you got to measure I doesn’t want to plop everything on my plate and enjoy it But you know what this the section it looks like a good healthy balanced meal like I’m still down for this I’m just not down to be the one that measures it like if I had somebody else measuring this healthy Portion control meal on to the portion plate I would eat it straight up I just I don’t have that type of like commitment in my life I would rather just plop one item in the middle and just go at it sugar free sugar wafers. sugar free sugar wafers. sugar free sugar wafers. sugar free sugar wafers What are they do they have sugar do they not the thing is sometimes when things are sugar free they have other crap in them Like aspartame and who knows what else so like yeah? Like usually if you’re eating a wafer like probably not healthy for you unless like no, but I can retract that statement because sometimes I I’ve tried like vegan desserts before I tried this like vegan chocolate cake And I’m gonna tell you what’s in it you guys have like why it was like literally avocado, yes avocado Coconut Dates and cocoa obviously, I think that was all that was in it And it was actually really good like you’re like they made this out of avocados which are delicious anyways But it’s not chocolate cake, but I literally had this argument with somebody somebody’s like it’s not cake and I’m like then try it They’re like no and I’m like it’s good and they’re like no I’m not trying to avocado cake and we argued about it, but I I thought it was good I’m open to it. This one says my diet says I can eat one pancake with my oatmeal. That is the biggest pancake I’ve ever seen. Like he is using a shovel. He’s like yeah I’m gonna just shovel up this pancake, but I guess the whole point of this meme is like I can only have one So I’m gonna make it extremely big Extremely unhealthy, but it’s the only one so I’m not cheating technically like I don’t want to eat that pancake I actually think sometimes when things are smaller they taste better. Like I have this theory that sometimes like Halloween candy like the mini versions of KitKat taste better than the actual big bars I don’t know Maybe it’s in my head and like Really thinly sliced cheese always for me tastes better than like a full block of cheese. Am I the only one who feels this? It’s like So I always have to do this thing, but cheese where I try to slice it like as thin as possible Like the thinnest slice There’s just something about it that I’m just like DELICIOUS! We have a very well located Gym people literally have to pass an ice cream shop. Why you do this? Why you do this to people? You know? Oh I would you know because I feel like you would work out and you’d be like Hungry and you’d be like oh all there is is ice cream Well, I just work out so like you know it cancels each other out, and then you just like eat ice cream but then an hour later, you’d feel guilty about it cuz you’d be like I Just worked out for no reason. I just worked out so I could have a scoop of ice cream oh I just put my hand into the water breakfast kale smoothie with a banana, off to good start. Lunch avocado toast and quinoa salad, second great option of the day. Dinner 57 Bagel Bites, 13 doughnuts, 2 buckets of fried chicken, 1 bottle of wine This is what happens when you pretty much TORTURE yourself and like Pretty much due a starvation diet and like restrict yourself, is that you cave and then you eat everything. That’s why you gotta like, you gotta, gotta to treat yourself! That’s what I was saying like you can’t like be so damn hard on yourself or else this happens And then when you cave you cave super hard and you’re like ALL OF IT If you eat it and survive, the meal is free Like that always gets me when it’s like those I’m sure you guys have seen it those restaurants where they have competitions, and it’s like if you can finish it all you don’t have to pay and it’s like is it worth the stomach ache and Vomiting and just dying after eating it all, NO Like how much is the burger really? $20, $30 like that is worth. Not feeling like shit! sometimes Sometimes it pays not to be cheap, you know. Also once again. This is probably for this whole party in this room right because also how do they make that pizza? I’m and I just have so many questions now. Also. How do you eat a slice that long? I feel like you shouldn’t- they shouldn’t have cut it into a circle cuz no one’s gonna be able to eat that slice It’s just gonna be a disaster. You need to cut it at this point in squares rectangles. You know Yeah, sure some of the edge pieces are gonna be funky, but it’s the only thing that makes sense with a pizza this size Do you ever see something and think wow that is violently- violently American? And they respond with you mean like glazed donut bacon cheeseburgers This exists I’m not gonna lie. I am curious AF like I I want to know what it is taste like because It’s like it’s like savory and sweet together and one big like AH! It’s like savory and sweet and one little like package uhh The biggest problem I see with this is that your fingers will get sticky really Azzy? That’s the biggest problem these people are saying glazed donut bacon cheeseburgers and the first thing you think is my fingers are gonna get sticky. Not that you’re gonna have a heart attack!! Well guys this was an interesting video. I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all so much Don’t forget to stay safe. Don’t do anything stupid, and be nice to each other okay? bye!

100 Comments

  1. Smaller things take better because you'll tend to want to eat it more slowly to really enjoy what little of the food there is

  2. 4:03 Sugar free sugar wafers.

  3. I had a vegan smoothie before. It contains almond milk,beets,dragon fruit,blueberries and spianch. It was tasty!

  4. How don't you know what pizza rolls are than ask Google and then ask Google maps and buy 1000 worm them up and eat it for all of us oh give me a shout out Olivia puppy lover plz and thank you goo goo ga ga he he he

  5. Tbh Azzyland I have that theory since I was little like I think small food is better than actual size

  6. I always say I’m only gonna eat one more cookies or brownies then turns into all the cookies or brownies that I baked.

  7. They are so go but ya your fingers do get sticky

  8. You should try tiny shredded cheese

  9. Small every time I try to slice the cheese it always is to stem so it breaks 🙁

  10. The smaller things are the more you will eat them

  11. My teacher made my take my pen out of the trash

  12. Lol I got a diet add for this video

  13. my luck i was eating food during this video or else i would be so jelly

  14. you had to say it a couple times for me to get it
    4:02

  15. I can understand the cheese one but the kit kat

    WHAT the big one's are better
    5:46

  16. this is MY food scheduled
    breakfast: warm bread with butter on it and microwaved
    lunch:fish sticks and fries
    dinner:pizza pops
    before bed time snack:peanut butter on a spoon

  17. Pizza rolls there pizza rolls lmao

  18. Azzy you’re like me and make me feel so confident in myself thank you keep being yourself 😇🥳

  19. Sorry Azzy, but I’m going to have to disagree with you. I am BY FAR the clumsiest human being IN THE WORLD! You’re still amazing! We love ya!

  20. Smaller strawberries are sweeter than bigger strawberries

  21. I one are moose meat
    It was……………..
    DELICIOUS😀👌

  22. Pizza rolls

  23. those donuts have breakfast versions and there "delicious!"

  24. Christian song comments: sappy stories about lives saved and spiritual stuff
    Karaeoke vid comments: 50 likes and Ill do a cover!
    Azzyland comments: silly stuff and quoting Azzy

  25. Emoji love
    🦊❤🐺
    🦁❤🐯
    🐑❤🐏
    🐔❤🐓
    🐖❤🐗
    🐨❤🐭 or 🐻❤🐨
    🐥❤🐦

  26. 7:44 I’ve been to that EXACT place and ordered that EXACT pizza…. I’m telling you this tho….. I ate like 5 of those slices and I was only like 9 years old… I never regretted this…. it was the absolute best. It was totally worth it

  27. 9:25 those exist and they are 👌 delicious

  28. How does she not know what pizza rolls are??🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

  29. Have you pooped when your family was right next to you

  30. Nah bruh, I never did that, I'm in control and light as a talc

  31. It's pizza rolls girl meh brother eats it

  32. Azzy reading: do you ever see something and think that it’s Violently American
    Also azzy reading: like glaze donut cheese burgers?
    Azzy: Whaaaaat?
    Me: I HAVE LIVE IN THE USA MY WHOLE LIFE WHERE IS THIS? I neeeeeed it

  33. Me: being hungry "if no one sees you eat somebody it has no calories" me: looks at enemy

  34. I have a cheese slicer that makes the cheese slices super thin

  35. 4:02 sUgAr fReE sUgAr wAfErS!

  36. 6:02 Me too I love Cheese on pizza and Thin ones. But i hate cheese thats weird right

  37. The portion plate isn’t accurate at all 😅

  38. At 3:26 it was pizza rolls I think

  39. PIZZA ROLES AZZY

  40. Sigh 😔) me I took the cookies 🍪 I know it wrong 😞

  41. And yessss I will eat all the pizza 🍕

  42. The only time you should go on a diet is to save your life like some doctors recommend some diets

  43. Azzy:pizza pocket ×
    Me:not tryin to be rude but its pizza rolls

  44. Vegan cake is the best if you don’t believe it I’ve had it cause my friends are vegan

  45. when I was on a diet I lost 10 pounds in the first 2 days

  46. 6:57 is me when I'm on a healthy diet and I just can't handle it and go crazy

  47. 3:58 azzy: I just don’t have that type of commitment in my life
    Jordy: whAAaT?

  48. Azzy cheese does taste better thin

  49. Oml such a coincidence when Im eating pizza rolls and Azzy is talking about pizza rolls XD

  50. They are mandazi in Kenya

  51. EAT SOMEBODY

  52. I’ve had the donut burgers before and their delicious! Azzy Liz try them!

  53. THIER TOSTINOS PIZZA ROLLS!

  54. Pizza rolls

  55. r/comedycemetery

  56. ½ is a correct proper fraction

  57. 1:20 I do that for football. (soccer.) If the referee didn't see it, the foul didn't happen. Lol

  58. I can relate to the small food thing but only with bananas

  59. 3:17 ravioli

  60. 3:12 they're pizza rolls Azzy and they are delicious

  61. u not da only one

  62. potatos=potato chips
    potatos=fries
    me: likes dipping potato chips in ketchup
    ITS LIKE FRIES

  63. Is it a problem I faked being sick to watch this lol

  64. There piazza rolls

  65. I was thinking i am The clumsiest

  66. Ummmmm

    2019?????????

  67. 9:14 me honestly 😂

  68. Who loves loves that azzy’s thumbnails ain’t clickbait

  69. If you eat somebody, it means somebody’s meat in their body

  70. 4:05 sugar free sugar wafers

  71. Same i always loofed my self and you might just need a lucky charm!!!!! When I put on my cross necklace that my parents gave me for my birthday I never got hurt since I put it on

  72. If you don't follow your diet, you are probably already okay with yourself.

  73. 4:00 sugar free sugar wafers huh is it sugar or not👏 Good job creaters

  74. No Azzy, I eat all my food small too and it tastes much better! Also, I’m gluten free so you just HAVE to tell me where to get that cake, I haven’t had one in 6 months, love ur vids, bye!

  75. Oh my gosh I’m gluten free I wish I COULD cave, but I can’t 😫😩

  76. I'm literally watching this video like after a year and like I'm thinking what's up with that background music

  77. My friend is also super clumsy in 5th grade she fell off of every chair she sat on, she has fallen off some more chairs since then.

  78. Little is better

  79. I'm fat but everyone says I'm skinny

  80. Ha, if you eat SOMEBODY 😅😂🤣1:21

  81. Sugar free sugar wafers? What is it then? Just wafers?

  82. The sugar wafers get undone by being sugar free

  83. Azzy * Ummmmm idk what those are
    Me *Rethinking loving azzy so much! who doesn’t know what pizza rolls

  84. Don’t people usually on eat two slices of pizza

  85. “If you eat somebody and nobody sees you do it it has no calories.”

    -azzy

    Me: NUNI

  86. AHEM I AM AMERICAN DONT INSULT MEH

  87. Have you ever fell in a trashcan

  88. Azzy the pancake one was from a MOVIE!Uncle Buck to be exact.Highly recamended

  89. does azzy eat whole blocks of cheese

  90. there pizza rolls

  91. This is how many times azzy said ‘like’

    👇

  92. Their pizza rolls

  93. IF YOU EAT SOMEBODY!? WOAH AZZY CALM DOWN!

  94. buuut I like both

  95. That pizza can save starvation

  96. Pizza rolls Azzyland

  97. /(⬛️⬜️-⬜️⬛️) get this famous bevouse I bad at grammar and spellling

  98. no you are not wrong I can relate to this

  99. I also like thin cheese

  100. 2:10 my teacher broke a chair like that but the backrest thing Came of it was so funny so then she didn’t have a chair So we had to give her our chairs in class

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