Brewstew – Health Class


Alright, now when
I was a kid in middle school, it was required to take
a semester of health class. And health class
was pretty straightforward. It was mostly just a class to
steer you away from cigarettes and alcohol. “Smoking cigarettes causes cancer!
Do you see this picture right here?” “This is what a cancerous lung
looks like from smoking!” “Uh.. that looks like
a picture of Lindsay Lohan.” “What? What are you talking about?” “Oh yeah, that is Lindsay Lohan!
She was in the Parent Trap!” “I don’t know what the hell
you guys are talking about.” “All I can see is an infected,
diseased, disgusting lump of shit!” “Cause by years of self-abuse.” “That’s all I see.” The teacher would always make us go up
in front of the class and do presentations. “My presentation is called
‘Alcohol ruins your life’.” My sources are this book, “A Fifth of Scotch a Day
Keeps Your Family Away.” And an interview I did with my stepdad. But the drug and alcohol talk
was nothing, compared to sex ed. Because in sex ed your teacher
would say some shit, that you would never want
to hear them say again. “Okay everybody,
today we’re talking about the panis.” “I know some of your are
gonna be giggling every time I say it,” “but panis is just a word.” “P-A-N-I-S. PANIS” One day we were sitting in class, and the teacher taped
the bunch of STDs to the chalkboard. “Okay, now I know you guys are at
the age, where you’re going through puberty.” “And your body is starting
to go through changes.” “My body is changing?
What am I, a fucking anamorph?” “For example, you got Todd over there.” “He thinks he’s pretty cool, because
he’s got a few whiskers on his upper lip.” “Well Todd, you think your
shitty excuse of a mustache is gonna save you
from the horrors of gonorrhea?” “I don’t think so.” “All right, I want everybody to pick your
favourite sexually-transmitted disease and present it to class next Friday.” Well, I didn’t really know
what my favorite STD was, so I just picked chlamydia. Because chlamydia kinda
sounds like it could be like a Pokemon. – Chlamydia, I choose you, go!
– Blerp. So for this presentation, I decided to make
this big-ass poster board to show to the class. I got the word chlamydia written up top
in big-ass bubble-letters like an idiot. I’m standing at the bus stop
in the morning, people are driving by,
honking their horns and shit. “What the hell,
is that kid advertising chlamydia?” “Hey asshole, I got plenty of chlamydia
from my ex-wife, no thank you!” So I’m standing up there,
in front of the whole class. It’s worth noting,
that I absolutely hate speaking in public. Let alone, when I have to list off
all the goddamn symptoms for chlamydia. “Okay, if everybody can refer to
my big-ass obnoxious poster board, you can see, that the common
symptoms include a burning sensation, and a yellowish discharge.” “Oh God! A yellowish
discharge from the panis!” “Who the hell wants that in their life?” But I thought that was
the worst part of the health class, it was nothing,
compared to the Miracle of Life. Because The Miracle of Life
was the movie made in the 80s, that talks about
where babies come from. And at first, when the teacher
wheeled out that bad-boy TV on the cart, we were all kind of excited. “Oh hell yeah!
What are we watching? Ghost Busters?” “I hope we’re watching Ghost Busters!” “Today, kids, we’re gonna watch
the film ‘The Miracle of Life’.” “And it’s gonna take you step by step from when you were a weird little
shrimp person in your mom’s belly to the fully-functional
human being that you are today. So we start watching this movie,
and 95% of the movie is indeed what he said. It does show us how we go
from weird little shrimp monsters to a fully-functional human baby! But then, outta fucking nowhere,
it cuts to a woman giving birth to a baby. And it shows everything. This chick is spread-eagled,
the camera’s right in their business. Everybody in the class room is horrified. “Oh, what the fuck!” “Oh sick, I just ate chicken Parmesan
for lunch for Christ’s sake!” Meanwhile the teacher keeps pausing
the video to add commentary. “And here we can see
the baby’s head beginning to crown.” “It kinda looks like if you cut
an avocado in half, doesn’t it?” (Blerp!) “Oh boy, that is messy!
I hope that cameraman is wearing a poncho!” (Blerp!) “And that was
The Miracle of Life, everybody.” “All right, anybody have any questions?” “Ah, yeah, can I file
a restraining order against your ass?” “So you can never
show me that shit again?” After school we’re all outside, traumatized. There are kids
smoking cigarettes and shit. “That was not the fucking Ghost Busters!” “Hey, you’re not smoking
cigarettes out there, are you?” “Is this really what you wanna become in life?
Take a good look!” https://brewstew.com Special Thanks To: Josh Denny. Special Thanks To: (These wonderful people) &
All the other Patrons! https://www.patreon.com/brewstew https://shop.makeship.com/collections/brewstewfilms
https://www.Facebook.com/brewstewcom https://twitter.com/brewstewfilms

100 Comments

  1. He hit 1m sub

  2. 1m yeah nice brew

  3. The more Animorph comments the better!

  4. HAPPY ONE MILLION!!!!!!!!

  5. Yay I love these videos.

  6. Congrats on hitting 1,000,000 subscribers

  7. It was a Christmas party and I’m walking pass some kids in the hall. They go “hey Erik whose your teacher” then I say “mr.enis” then I walk away and after one foot step I hear the kid telling his friend “put a P before the e”. Also is nobody going to talk about how that poster board is the size of him😂

  8. 1 Million woow

  9. This is one for the recommend to people who haven’t seen brewstew list

  10. Congrats on 1000000

  11. "Fully functional human that you are today"

    Press X to doubt

  12. O Fack pubertet

  13. Honestly, these Lindsay Lohan jokes are getting redundant. They are losing their humor.

  14. "Chlamydia sounds like it could be a Pokemon" hahaha good one

  15. V A S D E F E R E N S

  16. 😂😂😂😂😆😆😆

  17. Chlamydia! Gonorrhea! Herpes! Can you catch 'em all?!

  18. “Femur, HA HA!!”

  19. YOU HIT A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS YAY,

  20. ONE MILLION SUBS 🥳

  21. Hey Panus, you got 1 Million subscribers, congratulations

  22. Congrats on 1 million subscribers

  23. John Daly is the G.O.A.T!

  24. When I was in health class, they showed the same video. I'm in 10th grade right now, and I had health class in 8th.

  25. He said pains to not get didmontized

  26. Oh fuck I remember the miracle of life I threw up in the middle of class and got a detenchan for “being dramatic”

  27. Happy 1 million subscribers 🎉 been watching you for a while

  28. I did not hafe to watch miracles of life because i had to do make up work

  29. Congrats 1m

  30. Teacher: what's your favorite body part
    Freddie Mercury: Panis

  31. The best intro on earth

    Alright

  32. Nice

  33. Best one yet!

  34. 1 MILL!

  35. Congrats on 1mil subs

  36. Shit bro remember Linsy lohan

  37. I love the picture in the background of the golfer and it says "Vas Deferens" 0:46. I remember that word from 2ish years ago in my very detailed health class.

  38. in 7th grade the computer said "now for the women's system" and someone in the back yelled out "OHH YUMMY"

  39. peen

  40. You got a million subss yaaaaaay congratsss!!!!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

  41. penis***

  42. A L R I G H T

  43. What do u call a guy with a penis and a vagina a venus

  44. We didnt even have sex ed in 8th grade

  45. I love how he absolutely memes on his ex

  46. congratulations on 1 million subscribers

  47. 1 MIL FUCK YEAH

  48. The panis is part of our body paniseseses are small medium large horse then black guy

  49. Congrats on getting 1 million subscribers 👍👍

  50. Original…

  51. I love the vas deferens poster😂😂

  52. Who gave you the right to go that hard against Lindsy Lohan 😂

  53. Good job with one million Brew Stew

  54. I watched this last quarter of school and I hated it

  55. I had to watch the miracle of life in 2019
    Canadian schools hate when you swear and than they show us this

  56. For the 200 people that disliked the vid…….THATS 10 ACROSS THE ASS

  57. Congrats on 1mil

  58. OH WHAT THE FUCK

  59. Your channels the best

  60. You did it congrats on 1 mil ❤️❤️❤️

  61. Congrats on 1mil brewstew 🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈

  62. He was obviously scarred by Lynsey Lohan

  63. 1 mil great job

  64. I love your vids, every time you make one im waiting on my tip toes for you to make another one. You always make my day thanks

  65. 1M subs!

  66. Congrats 1 mill ben watching for a wile still live it

  67. In sex-Ed the teachers would make us write little notes what question we have about the topic I put can you bribe cops with sex and they would read it out loud and everybody was dying of laughter

  68. Oh yeah

  69. Brewstew congrats on the 1 mil subs ive been here since top 3 worst christmas gifts

  70. you're lucky mine was a lot worse

  71. Congrats at 1 million subs brew

  72. So I’m in 6th grade but I can relate soo much

  73. I can say nigga for the longest

    HEY GUYS MY NAME IS NIGGA ALOT OF MY FRIENDS CALL ME NIGGA BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT THE WORD NIGGA MEANS? SO I LIKE SAYING NIGGA AND I ALSO CALL MY FRIENDS NIGGA'S BECAUSE THEY ARE NIGGA'S WHICH I ALSO HATE SOME NIGGA'S BECAUSE THEY ARE NIGGA'S THAT HAVE OTHER NIGGA'S AS A FRIEND. :]

  74. You got 1 mill!

  75. “That was not ghost busters”😂😂😂😂😂😂

  76. CONGRATS ON 1 MIL BREWSTEW!!

  77. Congrats on 1 million 👌

  78. 6 times 6 =36 your a bitch

  79. Congrats on 1M!

  80. Congrats on 1 mil

  81. Why do you hate Lindsey Lohan so much? You're videos are funny but almost all of them have her in it😂. Make a video about her

  82. Panis means bread in Latin

  83. Last year for my freshman living environments class, we used that same video to learn about, "the miracle of life". Most disturbing shi* ever if you ask me

  84. Make a vid on how you met brewer

  85. Panis

  86. I am 2 days late but here

  87. I fill your pain🤮🤮🤮

  88. I’m gonna yeet you off a clif

  89. One million fucking subs

  90. One day the health teacher filled a condom with a gallon of milk to prove you are not to big for one

  91. 1 million subs Congrats 😀

  92. Lmao my school is supposed to play the miracle of life this year

  93. since when did michael grow more hair

  94. Congrats on 1million SUBS!!

  95. Do a vid on your first time getting drunk

  96. “That was not the fucking ghostbusters”
    😂😂😂
    I died

  97. I was sick on miracle of life day

  98. U got 1 mil subs
    Ur cool

  99. 1 mil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!¡¡¡

  100. The old guy with the cross has disappointed me by not being on the bus stop of the "Chlamydia day"
    Not a single bus would stop, everyone would think you're with him xD

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